Clare's Dad

Wha’ choo talkin’ ’bout, Dad?

There will always be a generational gap between parents and children. That’s by definition, isn’t it? Here are my concerns about that gap. This post was written on September 17, 2007.

Now that Clare is almost six, I’m beginning to be concerned about her TV watching habits. It’s not that she’s watching too much TV—okay, maybe sometimes she is—it’s that she may not be watching the right things. I’m not talking about her watching Jerry Springer or Showtime—which she isn’t—I’m talking about her missing some of the classics.

When I was kid in the 70s, there were about seven stations to watch, maybe twenty once we got cable. If I turned on the TV after school or on the weekends, at least one of my choices was sure to be an old episode of I Love Lucy, Gilligan’s Island, or The Brady Bunch—and I’d watch it. Today, with so much great kids’ TV, Clare sticks to Disney, Nickelodeon or PBS Kids. Not a bad thing, but…

Because Clare and I are both fans of Kim Possible, Clare gets the joke if I say “Booya!” If I say, “Hicka bicka boo,” she answers, “Hoo-sha!” But will Clare, or anyone in her generation, know many of the classic characters, scenes and catch phrases of TV? I only had about twenty years of classics to catch up on—which repeats generously provided to me. But Clare, she’s missed half a century of cultural references already.

If Clare breaks a vase and I say, “Mom always said, ‘Don’t play ball in the house,’” will she get the joke? Or will she wonder when Mom said that?

Will Clare ever understand the significance of Mayberry, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, or a three hour tour? Will she ever look for Gopher on a cruise to Puerto Vallarta? If I point to the sky and shout, “De plane! De plane!” will she look at me like I’ve lost it?

If I call someone a meathead, say “Stifle it, Edith” or “Sit on it, Potsie,” will Clare wonder who the heck these people are? “Up your nose with a rubber hose” would probably put the same confused look on her face.

If I clutch my chest and yell, “I’m comin’, Elizabeth” will Clare laugh or just wonder what to do? If she asks if I really need help, saying “Wha’ choo talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?” won’t clear things up.

Will Clare ever know what Vitameatavegamin is? Will she ever sing “California here we come” like the Ricardos and Mertzes when she’s crossing the George Washington Bridge?

If I jump through the car window will Clare think “General Lee?” Or will she wonder when it was exactly that I lost my mind?

Clare may never get it if I shout “Dyn-o-mite!” or “Norm!” She’ll wonder who Norm is. She won’t even get the reference if someone calls me “Derwood.” She won’t even understand “G’night, John Boy.”

“Same bat time, same bat channel?” It won’t mean anything to her. “Five six seven eight?” She’ll never follow that with “Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.”

And, even though the reference is now only a little over a decade old, I should probably cancel my plans to go to her high school in twelve years, raise my fist, and shout, “Donna Martin graduates!”

Even “M-I-C (See you real soon.) K-E-Y (Why? Because we like you.)” isn’t used on Disney anymore.

What do you think? Will some of these characters and catch phrases one day be long forgotten? Or will our kids eventually understand the references? Do you remember any other great ones and still use them? Do your kids know other ones?

With a generation between us, they’ll probably always be “off by that much.”